


Loss

by Ninety_Six_Thousand



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Hami is offensive, I love them both anyway, Laurens is so full of sass, M/M, Someone dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 10:58:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9320561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ninety_Six_Thousand/pseuds/Ninety_Six_Thousand
Summary: A string of letters between Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry this didn't turn out very well. But I tried.

May 7 1778

_My dearest, Laurens,_

_I grow weary here without your company. I dare say nothing nor no one will ever be able to keep my company the way you have many a night. I understand your want to battle, but the woes of your absence weigh heavily apon me._

_On another topic, many an evening have nightmares plagued me this storm season. My dearest, Laurens, you must know that one has not experienced loss until he loses the only person left who cares for him and must relive it every rain. I grieve heavily for the loss of so many years ago in your absence._

_Do not misunderstand me; I do recognize and appreciate your need to absence, I only wish it were not so._

_Come home soon, John._

_Yours forever,_   
_Alexander Hamilton._

July 19 1778

_Dearest, Alexander,_

_I am willing and wanting to apologize for the length of the battle. I dearly wish I could tell you I was to be coming home soon, but the war is yet far from won._

_My soldiers wish greatly for word of the outside world. I dare not tell them that despite my best efforts, nothing has changed. I wish there were good news to tell, but alas! The world does not seem to wish it so._

_I suffer to hear of your troubles. I do wish I were with you in order to calm your grieving psyche. I wonder often at the inability of others to calm you. Do you figure they are blind or just daft?_

_Fondly,_   
_John Laurens._

February 14 1779

_My dearest, Laurens,_

_It is Valentine's and you are not yet home. I, however, do not seem to be one to talk, for I cannot or refuse to give Schuyler the holiday she would like. Instead, here I stay. Committing heresy with another man._

_Oh! What madness I must be stuck in to fancy a man over a woman. Do not take me for a fool, I am well aware how lucky it is for me to have you. I only wish you might be softer in features. Alas, it was never meant to be._

_I fear I may never be one to know legal love._

_Yours forever,_   
_Alexander._

September 23 1779

_Dear Alexander,_

_Many a night I have turned in my head how to respond to your previous letter. I know not whether you intended hurt, but hurt it did._

_Firstly, I may address my dislike at your comparison of our love to madness. If we are such madness perhaps you could better spend your time without me or in a madhouse._

_As for your wish of me to be softer of feature, I do not take kindly to such a thing being said of me. No man nor woman, no matter how loved, has got a right to question my masculinity. If legal love is what you yearn for, perhaps you should have given this ring to another._

_I do not wish to sour a relationship, but perhaps that is what it may take in order to allow your comprehension on this issue._

_Fondly,_   
_John Laurens._

March 17 1780

_My dearest, Laurens,_

_I am sorry at my behavior in a previous letter. I did not intend to wound you so, I only meant that I wished you were legal for me to love, so that the world may know the depth of my feelings._

_I do miss you so. My dearest, John, though words are not enough, I have only words to convince your homecoming. I anxiously await news of its swiftness. However, do not mistake; your safety in such an endeavour is my main concern._

_It is I and not you who may sour our love. I do adore that you shy not to tell me I am wrong._

_I wait for you._

_Yours forever,_   
_Alexander Hamilton._

August 25 1780

_Dearest, Alexander,_

_I appreciate and accept your apologies. I suppose my reaction may have been rather melodramatic, but you must understand my dislike for the speak._

_I have not the slightest clue the details of my departure from camp. I regret to inform you that I think it not soon. The war is yet not won and the soldiers are yet not too tired or hungry to fight._

_I think you might find it interesting that I have found out a woman among our ranks. I will not disclose her alias due to fear of her imprisonment, though I may tell you her name, which is Deborah._

_I feel you may find her a basket case, but she only wants to fight for her country like the rest of the soldiers._

_May freedom be soon in our reach._

_Fondly,_   
_John Laurens._

June 13 1782

_My dearest, Laurens,_

_I apologize for my lack of writing. I have been caught up in work. I hope it does not offend you that I choose work over social._

_I sadden to hear your unknowing of your arrival. I await the door opening every day._

_This woman you speak of seems interesting. I wince to think you believe me small minded._

_Let trust be more than a name, John. You have mine I only ask the same in return._

_Yours forever,_   
_Alexander Hamilton._

August 27 1782

To whom it may concern,

On this day, August 27 1782, John Laurens has passed away. We regret to inform you that he was killed in battle.

Deepest regards,   
The American Army

August 27 1792

_My dearest, Laurens,_

_I miss you._

_Forever yours,_   
_Alexander Hamilton._

 


End file.
